Friday, 2 July 2010
In praise of the OnePiece
To anyone with any interest whatsoever in clothes and style, the OnePiece has been rather controversial. So it might perhaps come as a surprise that Lord Bassington-Bassington, who normally refuses to wear anything introduced after 1967, wholeheartedly supports the wearing of OnePieces.
Yes, His Lordship informs us, he is aware that it makes people look like prison inmates, sanatorium patients or - perhaps even worse - furries.
But His Lordship's logic is this: The OnePiece represents the absolute low point in the long history of Western dress. It is absolutely impossible to look more slovenly or moronic than one does while wearing a OnePiece (even the world's most vulgar suit is no match for a OnePiece).
Because the history of fashion is not only a history of decline, but also of reactions and counter-reactions, any new fashion coming after the OnePiece has to be an improvement. So when the OnePiece fad fades out, the world will be a better place.
So His Lordship braces himself and crosses his paws in hope that the OnePiece will make a few people want to try a three-piece (like this one by Sir Paul Smith, one of our favourite designers here at Bassington Manor).
In the spirit of trying to usher in a counter-reaction, Lord Bassington-Bassington suggests that your OnePiece should be matched with a pair of Ugg boots, thus creating the least appealing outfit available to man. Uggs are, if anything, even more brilliant than the OnePiece, as Uggs are the only thing one can wear whose name is an accurate rendition of the sound His Lordship makes when seeing them.