Monday, 9 January 2012

Mellow Mullah

(Illustration by Kim Holm).

A few Saturdays ago the evening here at Bassington Manor included a small Tiki party, and as Lord Bassington-Bassington is quite fond of mixing these drinks His Lordship saw fit to create a special one for the occasion. And as Bassington Manor was visited by His Lordship's beloved Mullah the theme of the drink was a given. The Mellow Mullah was born.

This drink is based on the Happy Buddha, but rejiggered to fit better with the teachings of the Seal of the Prophets. Or at least the teachings of the Seal of the Prophets as preached by the Mad Mullah Hastur, the Islamic scholar who, in a daring act of itjihad, declared bacon to be a fruit – and hence quite halal. The good Mullah's fatwas tend to be like that, and that is why His Lordship tries to follow them, well, religiously.

Mellow mullah
12 cl guava nectar
1,5 cl Rose’s Lime Cordial Mixer
Lime juice*
0,75 cl Cointreau
4,5 cl Mount Gay Rum

* Making one's own guava juice might be a bit ambitious (though Lord Bassington-Bassington is planning on trying) and the guava nectars available in colder climates tend to be on the sweet side. To balance this, add a small amount of freshly squeezed lime juice. The drink should be sweet but also tangy and fresh.

Pour all the ingredients into a cocktail shaker filled with ice, shake well and strain into a suitably grotesque Tiki mug packed with ice. Garnish with a sprig of fresh lime and wheel of fresh guava. Enjoy, and reflect on how much better the world would be if more people followed the good Mullah's fatwas.


  1. The drink was truly refreshing, like envigorating mana from heaven, the saliva of Allah! It was truly a blessed occasion, and the blessing was well received by my liver!

  2. Thank you, my dear Mullah! This reminds me that I've promised to create a drink for Death in Uke as well. My favourite Death in June cover band surely deserves that.