Thursday, 30 April 2009

Gods behaving badly: Candid Cthulhu Camera

Before Lord Bassington-Bassington’s lecture about H.P. Lovecraft to a group of youthful Goths last night, His Lordship expressed some fears about associating with such young people. What if they used a rude language, played loud music or even - wore hats indoors?!

For a sense of security, Lord Bassington-Bassington brought along his bamboo-handled umbrella, to whack the youngsters if things got out of hand.

So imagine his disappointment when it turned out that the most shocking behaviour on this otherwise civilized night was perpetrated not by some young person with piercings or, but someone old enough to know better: One of the subjects of the lecture itself.

Great Chtulhu is aeons old and should certainly know better than to drink, smoke and cavort with human females. Such behaviour is simply intolerable.

Cthulhu is hereby grounded, and has to look after the Lovecraftian section of the library here at Bassington Manor.

(Thanks to Mr. Yngve Farmen for capturing the shocking scenes on his mobile camera).


  1. Haha. Hoppas det gick bra i övrigt, Cthulhus ociviliserade beteende till trots.

  2. (Ian's office)
    Marty: The last time Tap toured America, they where, uh, booked
    into 10,000 seat arenas, and 15,000 seat venues, and it
    seems that now, on the current tour they're being
    booked into 1,200 seat arenas, 1,500 seat arenas, and uh
    I was just wondering, does this mean uh...the popularity
    of the group is waning?
    Ian: Oh, no, no, no, no, no,, no, not at all.
    I, I, I just think that the.. uh.. their appeal is
    becoming more selective.

  3. But.. didn't poor old Cthulhu only do what he's sent to Earth for.. ? At least he managed to evoke terror in the Lordship, and make a hideous scene of himself.. Seems to me his punishment should be lifted and exchanged for an extra praise and worship-hour.. ? Hail Cthulhu! You're awecore! :)

  4. Good Madam: We are obviously on opposing sides of a theological argument.

    Some people, like you, claim that Cthulhu’s purpose is to spread terror and debauchery. I’ll admit that this seems to have some theological support. To quote one of the most authoritative texts on the subject:

    “The secret priests would take great Cthulhu from His tomb to revive His subjects and resume His rule of earth. The time would be easy to know, for then mankind would have become as the Great Old Ones; free and wild and beyond good and evil, with laws and morals thrown aside and all men shouting and killing and revelling in joy. Then the liberated Old Ones would teach them new ways to shout and kill and revel and enjoy themselves, and all the earth would flame with a holocaust of ecstasy and freedom.”

    Other people (i.e. me), however, are of the opinion that Chtulhu has been a bad little Old One and has to be grounded to be taught a lesson. The stars are NOT right for this kind of behaviour.