(Society page writers: Yell "STOP PRESS!" now. The rest of you, please read on.)
In one of the most important social events of the season here in Little Storping-in-the-Swuff, Lord Bassington-Bassington has been accepted into the New Sheridan Club. He also has the pleasure of escorting his better three-quarters, Lady Mju, and friend Mr. Anthony Wakeford Esq. into the club. The club, which is slightly reminiscent of His Lordship's beloved Heretical Cellar (which has a gathering this coming Thursday, society page writers take note again), is a project right after his own heart.
Of course, one can ask why Lord Bassington-Bassington would apply for membership in the first place. His Lordship resides in Little Storping-in-the-Swuff, outside of Oslo, Norway, while the New Sheridan Club is in London, England. So his chances of attending one of their club nights are, sadly, rather slim. And even if the membership fee is just five pounds a year for overseas members, this could be seen as a waste of money.
Because of these hard facts, and as Lord Bassington-Bassington's tastes in menswear are well known, some would undoubtedly accuse Lord Bassington-Bassington of joining the New Sheridan Club just to be able to buy and wear a pair of its "Brolly Roger" club cufflinks (see pictures below). But while the club cufflinks are undeniably spiffy, this is far from the truth. The truth must, as it often must, be sought in religion.
In matters such as this, His Lordship relies on the advice of his Mullah, the famous "Mad Mullah" Hastur of The Little City Between The Many Mountains, to steal a phrase from the Dodologist.
In one of his many fatwas, the good Mullah underscored the importance of supporting the English economy in these dire times, so that purchasing fine English footwear, eating in English restaurants and – in a wider interpretation of the Mullah’s fatwa – joining their clubs, is a clear religious obligation.
So His Lordship is not joining the New Sheridan Club just so he can buy the club cufflinks. It is for religious reasons, darnit!
(And anyway, the club ties are pretty spiffy too...)
It is indeed a good way of lending a helping hand to our unfortunate brethren in good old blightey. I'm trying to convince myself to apply for membership, as well.
ReplyDeleteAnd the cufflinks are rather dashing, I must say.
Well, yes, some combination of the words "practice" and "preach" springs to mind...
ReplyDeleteI'll have to think about it over a really stiff drink. That's what I think.
ReplyDeleteYou need to follow your own fatwas, my good Mullah!
ReplyDeleteI do! I gave the British a decent fortune on our last encounter with them ;-P
ReplyDeleteWhat ho, Bassington-Bassington.
ReplyDeleteA pleasure to have you in the Club, old boy. Here's hoping you can attend one of our meetings one day.
Toodle-pip.
Torquil Arbuthnot
Chairman, The New Sheridan Club
mrarbuthnot@newsheridanclub.co.uk
Thanks for the kinds words, Chairman Arbuthnot. I'm sure I'll be able to catch one of your little soirees one day (or evening).
ReplyDeleteOh my dear! http://open.spotify.com/track/3kOUCxAyB4W6z96Ey5hN3q
ReplyDeleteSuperfritz: Haha, a really classy classic! Tom Lehrer was such a formative influence on the young Bassington-Bassington.
ReplyDelete